Once Upon a Bus

[Disclaimer: The events that are described below are more or less real. Some may vary in intensity depending on which metro you are in.]

 

Image found on Google

The Challenge

As soon as I saw the message on my phone, I knew this day was going to be one for the legends. Of such a big team that we have to work with in office, my boss decided that I am the only one who has no life and would be willing to sacrifice the well-earned weekend sleep.

Since this was a last minute ask, I was told I would not even get the office transport. This meant only one thing; I would have to take the city bus to the office today. The thought was enough to send shivers down my spine. I have had my share of city bus rides. I gathered all the courage I could muster and made up my mind. Yes, I could do it (read had to do it).

Part One: The wait and boarding the bus

I started out towards the bus stand a little early knowing the frequency of bus to my destination is less and I did not want to take a chance. But as luck (or rather bad luck) would have it, I had to witness my bus leaving in front of my eyes, just as I was about 3 minutes away. (I don’t know why they taught the unit of distance as metre and kilometer in school when practically it’s always minutes. But then none of the school knowledge is ever used practically, is it?)

Dejected, I reached the stop. What I couldn’t understand was why were all the people looking at me at the stop? I think I looked pretty normal. Maybe they all could tell I was not ‘one of them’.  As far as I was concerned, I tried to avoid any kind of eye contact. It’s weird, when they kept staring at you. Had it been some girl doing such thing I would not mind at all. But with my luck, it’s always those creepy eyed people. I noticed a middle aged guy eating something wrapped in a newspaper. It looked disgusting. 

Image: The Tribune

 

After what seemed like an eternity finally I saw my bus coming. I can’t tell you how it filled me with joy seeing it come. But that joy was short lived. When I saw it come closer, I saw it was packed. And moreover, more people from the stop started moving toward the oncoming bus. I moved towards bus myself only to see more people running from behind me. In a few seconds everyone was at the gate trying to stuff in the already full bus. I saw a lady give up and move away. I could not give up. I moved into the vacant space left by her and grabbed hold of the handle bar. A few ladies gave me ‘no one taught you ladies first’ look but I held on. After a little bit of pushing and shoving I finally was on the bus. I felt like punching my fist in the air but I was pretty sure my fist would land on someone’s face so I contained my excitement.

Part Two: Getting a Seat

With all the heat outside and the jam packed bus, a thought crossed my mind. I am sure this is what the inside of an oven would feel like. It's a weird thought but that’s what Chennai heat can do to you. Getting on the bus was just the start; more important job was to look for a suitable place to stand. Suitable place would be defined as one near to which there is maximum probability of the getting the seat. Scanning and quickly locating the said suitable seat is something that takes a little while to master. You need to know the route of the bus, the stops and the people. Once located, I moved over near to the seat. But I wasn’t the only one. I saw another person eyeing my seat. He was more subtle than me in moving for the seat, a seasoned commuter. He too noticed me coming towards what he thought to be his seat. Both of us reached and stood near the seat, eyeing each other coldly. Now all depended on how the person sitting got up, i.e., blocking him or me while getting up. Of course there is a chance we both may be wrong and the guy won’t get up at all but you got to take risk in life, don’t you?

Now while standing over the seat-to-be, there is nothing you can really do apart from wait. Of course you cannot let your guard down because it might cost you the seat. So occasional shuffling to cover the seat from the other guy and making sure the person sitting knows that you are the next on the seat are acceptable actions. Meanwhile, the conductor also somehow managed to squeeze himself in between any little gap that he could get and make sure he sold the ticket. Sometimes when it is too packed, people themselves start passing the money down to the conductor (happens in Chennai, don’t know about other places). 

Part Three: Surviving the boredom

I did get a seat. It was not going to be such a bad day after all. Now seated, I looked up to see my nemesis and found him staring. I returned the stare. After a little while, he started searching for a new suitable seat. I put on my headphones mainly to avoid listening to a language I would not understand anyway (I am a northerner in Chennai) and to try and kill the boredom that such a long journey brings. But the songs are never as interesting as the people you are travelling with. Seated a couple of rows behind were the ‘eternal lovers’ who by some divine intervention had found themselves seats together. For a second the girl saw me looking at them, I quickly jerked my head away and almost hit my head into the torso of the person standing over my seat. That was funny; not me hitting my head but that he saw my seat as a suitable one. How wrong he was! These new commuters, I tell you. 

Image Copyright: Krupa Duth

After having made looking at the couple a forbidden territory, I started searching for something else to interest me and I saw someone from a dying breed, the reader. She could think about reading, even in this boiling heat. I hope people get inspired by this brave act. The guy next to me was one of the sleepers, people who I don’t know how managed to sleep in the bus. They keep swaying with every rough turn the bus took (and there are plenty of such turns), bumping into the person next to them or waking with a start when they hit the window.  

Next one hour passed without many incidents unless you consider a few people fighting with the conductor over some change as ‘an incident’. The fight lasted for about 3 stops so not really a major fight by the standards set on these buses. Now was the time for the final phase of my adventure, getting down.

Part Four: Getting down at your stop

For getting down there is an unspoken rule, do not leave your seat unless the bus has halted at your stop. Keep the seat for as long as you can. Does not matter if you are sitting next to the door or the middle of the bus; bus is crowded or empty. And this rule is followed by one and all, although I do not understand it but it is no excuse to not follow it.  I stayed put at my seat till the bus came to a halt. I got up and after one last exchange of cold look with my nemesis I got down.  

One last glance as the bus moved away, I thought of all the things that boss was going to hear from me once I reached office.

Office was another adventure but all on that later…

This post goes out to all the brave souls that travel by public transport daily. Arbitrary Notions salutes you.

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